Skip to main content

Behind the Screen: How to Protect Kids from Online Exploitation in Sugar Dating Schemes

Imagine your child receiving money and gifts from a ‘friend’ they met online. What seems like harmless generosity could mask a darker reality — one that every parent needs to be prepared for.
As a member of Infragard I have access to multiple threat intelligence products that are released daily through the Infragard secure portal. Last month I received a Liaison Information Report that was distributed by the FBI titled Criminals Sexually Exploit Minors in “Sugar Dating” Relationships. The report discusses how minors are becoming involved in sugar dating relationships and coerced into making content and performing actions at the directions of a criminal.

What is Sugar Dating

"Sugar dating" is a type of relationship where an older person with money, often called a "sugar daddy" or "sugar mama," offers financial support or gifts to a younger person, known as a "sugar baby," in exchange for companionship or intimacy. This can happen in person, online, or through phone conversations, with payments coming as money, gifts, vacations, or even help with bills and tuition.

How Exploitation Happens

These connections are typically made through social media where adults and minors have the opportunity to interact with each other. This can happen on social media platforms such as Discord, Facebook, etc. Once a criminal makes a connection they may demand the creation of illegal content, travel to meet to have an encounter with a victim or engage in other criminal activity. The criminal actor may even threaten to disclose the victims actions to friends and family. This may be done to force the victim to cooperate with demands of the criminal actor. Even after all this, a payment may not even be made. These threats can cause the victim to become full of regret, feel hopeless about the situation or may even cause them to self harm.
In December 2023, a male criminal approached three different female victims, one of whom was a minor, on a sugar dating website and solicited explicit content from them. The criminal threatened to send the content to the victims’ friends and families if the victims did not send additional content. As a result of, and after reporting, the sextortion to law enforcement, two victims stated they felt suicidal or wanted to commit suicide. Additionally, the criminal directed the minor victim to burn herself with a curling iron as a punishment for leaving a video call with him too early. 
  • Between 2015 and 2022, a male criminal in Pennsylvania used a sugar dating website to contact minor females and solicit explicit content. The criminal arranged for in-person contact and traveled to multiple states to engage in criminal activity with girls between 11 and 14 years old.
  • Between July and August 2021, a male criminal contacted a 15-year-old female via social media and offered to be the minor’s sugar daddy. The criminal received explicit content from the minor and refused to compensate her as previously agreed. The criminal then threatened to share the content on an explicit website if the minor did not continue to provide additional content.

What Should Parents Do?

1. Open Communication 

  • Create a Safe Space: Foster an environment where children feel comfortable discussing online experiences without fear of judgment or punishment. 
  • Talk About Online Risks: Explain what sugar dating is, emphasizing its dangers without sensationalism. 
  • Discuss desires and wants: Explain how material desires can make them vulnerable to exploitation. 

2. Monitor and Guide Online Activity 

  • Use Parental Controls: Enable parental controls on devices and internet services. 
  • Review Privacy Settings: Help children set strong privacy settings on social media and discourage sharing personal details online. 
  • Monitor Accounts Together: Conduct regular checks of social media, chat apps, and gaming platforms with your child’s knowledge. 

3. Educate on Digital Literacy 

  • Recognize Manipulation: Teach children to identify grooming tactics such as flattery, promises of gifts, and requests for secrecy. 
  • Spot Scams: Discuss how criminals often pose as friends or benefactors online. 

4. Encourage Critical Thinking 

  • Question Motives: Guide children to be skeptical of strangers offering gifts, money, or special treatment. 
  • Be Cautious with Payments: Warn about sharing financial details or receiving unexplained money or gifts. 

5. Build Emotional Support 

  • Promote Self-Worth: Reinforce positive self-esteem to reduce vulnerability to manipulative tactics. 
  • Be Supportive: Offer emotional support, particularly if your child shows signs of stress, withdrawal, or anxiety. 
  • Get Outside Help: Continue monitoring your child's mental health and consider long-term counseling if needed. 

6. Stay Informed 

  • Learn the Platforms: Familiarize yourself with popular social media, dating, and chat platforms. 
  • Join Parental Networks: Participate in community or online groups where parents share experiences and tips. 
  • Continuous Learning: Consider attending online safety workshops or webinars hosted by schools or community organizations.  
By combining open communication, digital literacy, and vigilance, parents can help their children navigate the online world safely while minimizing the risks of exploitation.

Getting Help from Law Enforcement.

If you suspect that your child is a victim of exploitation, document and keep everything. All communications between the victim and criminal need to be kept as evidence. Every message, email, image no matter how upsetting must be kept. Also, if possible make a backup of everything. All the evidence must be provided to law enforcement or other agencies. Before contacting law enforcement, prepare by gathering all relevant details, such as screenshots, chat logs, and transaction records. This evidence can strengthen the investigation.
  • Local Law Enforcement: Contact your local police or sheriff department immediately. 
  • FBI National Threat Operations Center: Call 1-800-CALL-FBI (225-5324) or report online at tips.fbi.gov. 
  • NCMEC CyberTipline: Use the National Center for Missing & Exploited Children’s CyberTipline at missingkids.org for anonymous reporting.

Getting Help for your Child.

Emotional support is vital for children who experience exploitation. Consider these options for counseling: 
  • Church or Faith-Based Services: Many religious organizations offer free or low-cost counseling. Reach out to your local church or community center for support. 
  • Health Insurance Plans: Check if your health insurance covers counseling services, including telehealth or in-person therapy. Mental health providers listed in your insurance network can offer specialized help. 
  • Nonprofit Organizations: Seek support from organizations like the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI), which offers counseling referrals and family support resources. 
  • School Counseling Services: Many schools have on-site counselors trained in crisis management and child psychology. 
  • Local Mental Health Centers: Contact local mental health clinics for community-based care options.
Providing a supportive, nonjudgmental environment and connecting your child with professional mental health services can help them recover from exploitation while promoting long-term resilience and well-being. 

Conclusion

Protecting minors from online exploitation through sugar dating schemes requires vigilance, communication, and action. By understanding how these schemes operate, recognizing warning signs, and fostering open dialogue, parents can better shield their children from harm. If exploitation is suspected, acting quickly by involving law enforcement and seeking emotional support services can be life-changing. 
 
The digital world is constantly evolving, bringing new opportunities and risks. Stay informed, engaged, and supportive as your child navigates their online life. Together, we can create a safer digital environment where children can explore, connect, and learn without fear of exploitation. By staying aware and proactive, parents can be the strongest line of defense against online exploitation. 

If this resonates with you, share this article to help other parents stay informed. Together, we can build a safer digital world for our kids. Also, please consider visiting my shop at shop.packetwalker.com. Your support helps me continue creating valuable content and resources to keep your family safe online. Thank you!

Comments